Smells Like Teen Spirit
By Link Worshiper

(x) X (x)

Game 50
Paint It Black

(x) X (x)

Heero's fingers cut through the cold salt water as he leaned into the mounting wave, his feet planted goofy-style on his gleaming, blue surfboard. The weather was getting warmer, which meant that Heero only had a few more weeks to enjoy the ocean before the summer tourists started flocking in from out-of-town, and Heero wanted to milk that time for all it was worth. Besides, whenever he was alone on the waves, Heero found that he was able to sort his thoughts out best, and heaven knew that at the moment, he sure had a lot of thinking to do.

There's no doubt in my mind now that there's something sinister brewing and that it most likely has to do with J, thought Heero, closing his eyes as the wave spritzed his face and cooled his entire body. As the rolling wave broke over him, Heero allowed himself to forget those dark thoughts for a moment as he concentrated on riding the dying wave out. Back in the middle of the aquamarine ocean, just beyond the breaking point of the waves, Heero treaded water and gripped his surf board, staring up at the gulls winging through the skies overhead. But what is he planning? wondered Heero. Is he hoping to use Quatre as a way to me? Or is there something larger than that on his agenda?

He let out an annoyed sigh and smacked the rippling surface of the water with frustration when these thoughts got to be too complicated. There were still too many loose ends and too many possibilities, things that he probably wouldn't be sure about until it was too late. If one thing was certain, Heero knew that J would not likely do something to point in any obvious directions, and any speculation would have to be based on pure sleuth work and some minor, shoddy clues.

“I don't know what I should even begin to do,” he moaned sadly to a white gull as it alighted on the far end of his surfboard. A black gull that waddled over to peck at the other affectionately joined it shortly after. Heero had seen this particular black bird before, as it was a rare colour for a seagull, and smiled as he watched the two creatures ruffle their feathers together. It was amazing how two simple animals could cheer him so easily. “What do you think?” he asked the pair of birds, even though he knew the best answer they could give him was a couple of frenzied squawks. They hopped about on the blue short board, cocking their heads funnily at Heero and then taking to the sky again. Heero tracked their flight, watching them spin circles around each other.

As Heero's eyes fell back from the cloud-dotted sky to the sandy beach, he felt a warmth in the pit of his stomach when he realized he wasn't the only one who had needed some time to think. About ten feet back from where the waves were crashing on the beach was one of the tall lifeguard posts, and sitting on the white, wooden structure was a very familiar figure with a long tail of braided hair dangling over the side. Heero wasted no time in sliding belly-down onto his surfboard and paddling back to the beach.

When he was finally standing at the base of the life guard perch, a sheen of water glistening on his skin and the black material of his wet suit, Heero looked up at Duo, who was sitting with his chin cupped in his hands as he stared blankly out at the ocean, his eyes not even seeming to track the wild movements of the seagull flock that was still winging through the air. He was wearing only a loose button-up and a pair of long, flower-print swimming trunks, his feet bare. The wind toyed with Duo's long hair and the low sun played brightly on Duo's face as it began to sink below the horizon, illuminating his cheeks and nose with bright yellow and painting his eyelids and lips a dark orange-gold. Heero found the sight strangely alluring and was reluctant to do anything to interrupt it, as Duo had yet to detect the Japanese youth's presence. It was clear that Duo was almost too deep in thought to notice the end of the world. Rising up from the back of the high bench, a red flag with the number 12 printed in white whipped in the loud wind.

Not wanting to disturb Duo, Heero leaned his short board against the wooden structure and then clambered up the horizontal support planks to the bench at the top, wordlessly sliding onto it beside his lover. He stole a quick glance at Duo's pensive face and hunched posture, noting that the longhaired teen still had yet to even twitch a muscle, before also turning his ultramarine blue eyes to the expansive, ever-changing sea.

“They're scattering Meilan's ashes today,” Duo suddenly spoke up, the unexpected break in silence causing Heero to startle a little.

Heero glanced at Duo for a moment, not surprised to see Duo still resting his chin in his upturned palms. No wonder Duo looked so sombre.

“I wasn't planning on going to the ceremony,” Duo went on, his voice choked, like he was on the verge of crying. It was apparent from the red rims around his eyes and the pink splotches on his cheeks that he'd been doing so before. “Funerary rights are to put the dead to rest, but I'm not ready to do that quite yet for Meilan. Not while there's a chance that the guys responsible for her dying are still out there.”

Heero wasn't quite sure how to respond to this, so he kept the silence, nodding his head just enough to indicate that he'd heard what Duo had said. Truth be told, he felt very much the same way Duo did about the matter. For a second, he found himself wondering what--

“Wufei said the same thing too,” Duo said, answering Heero's silent question. “I think he's only going to the thing for posterity's sake, but I know he's far from letting Meilan go.”

“Yeah,” hummed Heero, at least feeling compelled to speak. This conversation was one of those that were truly hard to participate in, and even Heero, who tended to be pretty straightforward, had trouble trying to think of the appropriate things to say. “He loved her a lot. More than he'd ever admit, anyway.”

Duo let out a long, rather painful-sounding sigh. “I wonder if anyone would care that much about me, ever,” he said forlornly, folding his arms down atop his knees and slouching forward on the bench. Sometimes Duo just voiced his thoughts without thinking about them first, and he wasn't really aware of what he was even saying until he heard Heero's response.

“I do.” The simplicity of the words just made the weight of it even more powerful; Duo's back straightened as he turned to face Heero for the first time since the Japanese youth had joined him. Almost masked by the cawing of the seagulls, Heero added softly, “You should never have to question that, Duo.”

Duo's hands moved to his sides, curling around the edge of the bench. “I know,” he murmured, his eyes darting between Heero and the ocean, as if he wasn't sure which one he should focus his attention on. “I... I don't question that, Heero; I know.”

“Don't ever forget it, okay?”

Duo fiddled with the white drawstrings of his swim trunks, untying and retying the loose bow they were looped into and unsure as to why he felt such a need to fidget, especially around Heero. “I won't,” he managed feebly, still toying with the drawstrings.

“Duo....” Heero's hand suddenly caught Duo's twitching fingers, stilling them as he laced his own fingers through them. He lifted the hand slowly, examining it as if it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on, and then slowly brought his lips to the knobby lumps of Duo's knuckles. “It's alright to wonder, to question, but just know that the answer will always be the same for me.”

Duo's lips quavered a little, fluctuating between a smile and a warbled line of emotion as he watched Heero softly rain kisses on the back of his hand. It was still hard for him to comprehend that the aloof lacrosse star had such a soft, romantic side, and even harder still for him to think that all that love was meant solely for him. He dared to move a bit closer to Heero so their shoulders were touching and lowered their hands into the nook between Duo's left leg and Heero's right. Closing his eyes, he angled his body slightly so he was leaning against his lover and felt himself being overtaken by that euphoric sense of bliss that always seemed to manifest at times like this. Losing himself in just the feel of Heero against him, the warm patch on his cheek and the gently strokes of Heero's fingers against the back of his neck, Duo let his defenses and worries slip away with the rolling ocean.

Comfort found Duo so easily, that it was no surprise that he started to doze. His head felt heavy as the cloud of sleep descended upon him, slowly clouding his tired vision, and soon, he was regressing back to his childhood, as he often seemed to in his dreams as of late.

“Once there was a way
To get back homeward.
Once there was a way
To get back home!”

Dreamy eyes opened upon the darkened eaves of the choir loft where Duo had spent his childhood with his friend, Wing. The choir loft was a balcony that hung at the rear of the church, flanked with dozens of organ pipes of many different sizes. In the corner of the rarely used area was a large mound of thick blankets and pillows upon which were curled two small boys. Once again, older, dreaming Duo found himself sitting in existentially upon the dream, lounging nearby the makeshift bed and watching his young self slowly wake up beside Wing. The dark-haired boy was singing quietly, his voice low for a child his age, and surprisingly pleasant. (Duo vaguely remembered Wing being in the tiny church choir on occasion.)

“Sleep, pretty darling;
Do not cry.
And I will sing a lullaby.”

“Good morning, good morning!” chirped little Duo as his eyes popped open, two large, violet dishes that seemed far too big for his small, round face. He sat up in the pile of blankets, rising out of the disheveled linens like a happy lark. “It's a wonderful morning, don'tcha think?” he asked Wing, grinning wide as he flung his arms around his flustered-looking friend.

“It's okay,” murmured Wing with a shrug. His eyes were angled away, and for a moment, dreaming Duo thought that he was looking at him, but then realized that no one in these dreamscapes ever seemed to be able to see him. Or at least, usually.

Bounding to his feet, little Duo skipped away from Wing, flying to the rail around the edge of the balcony, his happy shout reverberating through the just-stirring church. “It's gonna be the best day ever because I've finally got me a family! One who really loves me!”

Suddenly, teenaged Duo realized where this memory came from: it was the Sunday the last family to ever adopt him was to bring him home; the last Sunday before the church burned, the last Sunday Duo ever saw Wing. Fear gripped him, because now that he was clear on what exactly he was dreaming about, and he knew there was nothing he could do to change what was to happen. Before he knew it, he was on his feet and striding quickly over to the rail to stoop beside his younger self, examining the carefree countenance the child wore and wondering where it went. A quick glance back at the bed of blankets revealed a rather dour-looking Wing glaring at Duo's back with a certain level of hurt in his shining blue eyes. Elder Duo wondered where he had seen such an expression before.

Time then seemed to move faster, and dreaming Duo watched in awe as the two children seemed to speed off like they were being fast-forwarded. Looking down at the rows of pews below, Duo's widened eyes tracked the super-fast movements of the day, only able to catch himself, Wing, or even Father Maxwell and Sister Helen once in a while as they zoomed around the ambulatory, up and down the aisle, through the first two Sunday Masses. After a little while, when the afternoon sun was shining through the western windows, the dream slowed to a natural pace once more. Duo watched on baited breath, knowing that any moment his new family was to whisk him away. He could see his younger self-sitting on one of the pews, conferring quietly with Wing as they spun a red top on the wooden bench's seat. A little, plaid suitcase sat beside the pew, an old, brown coat and a black baseball cap lying atop it.

“Duo, they're here,” Sister Helen's voice echoed through the church, the sound of her voice causing both Wing's and little Duo's heads to snap up simultaneously as the kindly nun walked down the aisle with a man and another woman close behind. She stopped beside the pew where the two children sat and smiled warmly at them. “Say goodbye and get your things together, dear,” she said to Duo.

The red top whirled out of Duo's hands and across the pew, coming to a stop when it ran into Wing's slim thigh. Little Duo bounced to his feet and, practically tripping on the kneeler on the floor, flung himself at Wing. “Look! It's a real mommy and daddy!” he said happily, pointing to the man and woman standing with Sister Helen. “Aren't they the bestest people you ever saw?”

“No better than the other mommies and daddies who've come to take you away,” muttered Wing under his breath. “Besides, you're my Shinigami. They won't love you like I do.” He sure wasn't anywhere as happy as young Duo did to see the two strangers and the scowl on his face was enough to prove it. For such a young boy, Wing had a rather pointed, nasty glare.

But Duo didn't hear Wing's grumbled aside, because by then, he was already standing in the aisle, eagerly pulling on his jacket and plopping his baseball cap atop his thick, chestnut hair. With a grin that couldn't have been dimmed with even the end of the world, Duo picked up his plaid suitcase, holding it in both hands as he said, “Hi Missus Mommy and Mister Daddy! I'm Duo!”

The woman, a silvery-blonde, stooped down and smoothed her tight, lilac business skirt. She smiled at Duo and said softly, “I know who you are, dear. And just call me 'Mom', alright?”

“'Kay, Mom!” chirped Duo obediently. It was painfully obvious he would do anything to please these people.

“Are you ready to go, little man?” asked the woman's husband. He was tall, with smartly combed, brown hair and a suit that didn't bear a single crease or wrinkle.

“Yessir!” nodded Duo eagerly, his braid flopping in an S-shaped arc behind his head. Turning to Sister Helen, Duo reached up and pulled at her skirts, which was his way of getting her attention. “Bye Sissy Helen! I'll come back on Sundays for Church, I promise.”

“Be a good boy,” the nun said. “Always do as you're told and remember to say your prayers.”

Duo nodded his head again, his chin bobbing up and down so fast, it was a wonder his head didn't break off his neck. He shifted his suitcase to one hand and reached up to grab his new mother's hand as she stood up. “I will! Bye Helen! Bye Wing!” he called back as the man and woman started to tug him towards the back of the church.

They were almost out in the front vestibule, when suddenly, a small, red blur whipped down the aisle after them and spun around the trio. It darted forward and knocked the man in the face and then zoomed down to the woman's hand that held Duo's, bouncing viciously at her bony fingers. She let out a squeal and knocked it away, the indistinguishable, spinning blur falling to the ground, revealing itself to be nothing more than the red top Duo and Wing had been playing with. Duo let go of the woman's hand and dropped to his knees to pick up the toy, looking over his shoulder to call happily to Wing, “Thanks, buddy!”

However normal flying objects were for Duo, they certainly were not for his new parents. The woman wrinkled her nose at Duo as he cradled the red top in the palm of his free hand, staring down at it as if it were the most exciting thing he'd ever seen. The man sent a pointed glare down the aisle, only to be met with the equally challenging expression spread out across Wing's face. It was clear that the battle lines had been drawn and that Wing wasn't about to lose Duo to another pair of people he was sure were just going to abandon him again anyway. (It was always a wonder to Wing that Duo was constantly willing to set himself up for such heartbreak, and it often made the dark-haired child question what sort of strong stuff Duo was made of.)

Meanwhile, above in the choir loft, Duo's existential persona watched in disgust as the man and woman practically dragged his young, gleeful self out of the church. He remembered those two well; they never let Duo sit with Wing when they came back for Sunday Mass, and once, when Duo's self-mending body had knit up a large gash on his forearm, he was sent packing within minutes. For one crazy moment, Duo had the urge to try and stop his younger self from going with those people, perhaps thinking that that one little change in his life would be enough to change the way things would eventually pan out. He ran for the twisting, iron spiral staircase that led down from the choir loft to the vestibule beneath, reaching the bottom just in time to watch himself walk out the church's doors with those two hateful people.

Strangely, the dream did not shift and follow his younger self, as Duo expected it to. Instead, he found himself still in the church, as if he was trapped in someone else's memory of the place. Once again, time seemed to speed up again, and Duo watched as figures turned to blurs around him, speeding through two, three days in hardly a minute. Duo wandered through this surreal time warped Maxwell Church, wandering out of the vestibule and down into the main congregation area, looking extremely confused as people sped past his normally-timed body. He sat down on a pew near the front to save himself from the sudden nausea that swelled in the pit of his stomach. He let out a quiet sigh of relief when the dream slowed back down to a natural rate.

“Hold still!” came Sister Helen's voice, carrying a slightly more strict tone than usual. Duo looked up to see the nun playing a sort of tug-of-war with the young, dark-haired boy known as Wing, trying to pull him by the wrists as the child fought desperately to get away.

“I'm sorry, Mr. Lowe. He's usually such a quiet, well-behaved boy,” said another familiar voice from the other side. Duo swiveled his head around to see the elderly Father Maxwell, garbed in a simple pair of black trousers and a priest's shirt, leading an extremely tall, powerful-looking man with cropped, shaggy blond hair towards the struggling pair. Duo eyed the man suspiciously, unsure of what to make of him. He seemed rather imposing, but there was something kindly about his off-blue eyes. Duo racked his brain to try and remember why the name 'Lowe' sounded so familiar to him.

A loud crash echoed throughout the church, causing Father Maxwell, Sister Helen and the man named Lowe to snap their heads up in alarm. Lying at Lowe's feet was a toppled candelabra with many sharp spindles protruding from it, which had just narrowly missed hitting the blond man in the back of the head. Three pairs of eyes (and Duo's) all turned on the small, panting boy still gripped in Sister Helen's fists.

“Stop making a fuss!” commanded Sister Helen sharply as two prayer books and a Bible came flying up from the pew beside Duo and shot through the air, all three projectiles aimed at Lowe, who managed to dodge the Bible and one of the prayer books, blocking the other from nailing him in the face with a raised hand.

“You're gonna have to do better than that if you wanna scare me away, champ. Those kinds of things don't bother me,” said Lowe as he stooped to pick up the books and straighten the fallen candelabra. Standing up, Lowe strode casually over towards the nun and the boy, dumping the books onto one of the pews as he past. He sunk to his knees again when he reached them, looking Wing straight into the eyes. “What are you afraid of, champ?”

Wing just blinked his midnight blue eyes back at Lowe, his lips pursed tightly as he glared. The boy's position had relaxed a little, now only clutching at Sister Helen's long skirts, but he still seemed wary of the stranger.

“It's okay if you don't want to tell me, but don't feel like you never can, alright?” Lowe said warmly. Then he offered his big hand to the boy, an inviting smile on his face. “Let's try this over, alright? I'm Odin Lowe, and I want to be your daddy.”

Wing glanced down at Odin's hand, which was still being proffered, a suspicious tint still shading those amazingly blue eyes. He let his guard slip just a tiny bit more, allowing one of his hands let go of Sister Helen's black skirts. Tentatively, the boy started to reach for Odin's hand and then quickly recoiled it, as if he'd been burned. Instead, he simply queried, “Why?”

Odin cocked his head and arched an eyebrow. “Why what?”

“Why do you want to be my daddy?” Wing clarified, narrowing his eyes slightly. The outcome of the situation seemed to now depend entirely on Odin's answer.

A few long seconds ticked away as Odin gathered an answer together, closing his eyes and swallowing loudly. “My mother died twelve years ago, and my father hardly speaks to me. My wife died six years ago, and since then, I've had trouble getting on by myself,” he said quietly, his voice slow and careful, though his eyes never once wavered from the boy's. He smiled a very sad smile and shrugged his shoulders a little. “My wife had always wanted children, but for some reason, we were never able to have any. I was just hoping I wouldn't have to be alone anymore.”

Wing's other hand unfurled from around a clump of Helen's skirts. He crossed his little arms over his chest, making him look a lot older than he was. “There are lots of other brats around here who want a daddy,” he said crisply, his tone nothing short of a challenge. “I'm not one of them.”

Odin's hand dropped to his side and he hung his head, once again gathering his thoughts. Every pair of eyes was fastened upon the blond man, waiting for his answer. At last, Odin raised his eyes back up to meet Wing's, and then asked a simple question: “Are you lonely, boy?”

Wing seemed completely taken aback by this question, his arms swinging limply at his sides as his slanted, blue eyes widened. He took a few frightened steps backwards, as if the man had just brushed upon an uncomfortable nerve.

Without warning, Odin reached for Wing and enfolded him in his strong arms, pulling the small boy into a loving embrace like he'd never been caught in before. “It hurts, doesn't it? Being lonely? I hate it too. That's why I want to be your father, boy. Because we can heal each others' hurt.”

It almost seemed like magic when Wing slowly nodded his head and caught his little hands around the fabric of Odin's shirt.

Soon, the tall blonde was standing up, still holding Wing in his arms, pressing the child against his chest. As he started to walk towards the back of the church, he paused for a moment, lingering right beside Duo's bench. The longhaired lacrosse manager casually watched the new family out of the corner of his eyes. “So, boy, do you have a name?”

“Duo calls me Wing.”

“Is that what everyone calls you?”

“No. No one else calls me anything.”

“Well then, champ, I guess I should give you a real name, huh?” said Odin, smiling at his new son like he was the light of his life. It was obvious by the glow in the man's eyes how much it meant to have a child, to have someone to love, someone who could love him back. “I had a dear friend named Heero, once. How about I call you that, huh? You like that name, Heero?”

Time froze and noises whistled around Duo's head as everything suddenly clicked into place. He remembered Heero talking about his father, a man named Odin Lowe, though it had never occurred to Duo that they might not be blood relatives. Then that meant that all this time, Heero had been his childhood friend, Wing? The one who had loved Duo more than anyone? The only person Duo had ever truly loved in return? Were Heero's current feelings carried over from their youth? Did it mean that Heero had never stopped loving Duo? He felt stupid for not realizing it before.

When the dream began moving again, Duo had only two brief seconds to watch young Heero and Odin, his father, begin to move away. But no sooner did Duo blink his eyes, did the scene change yet again. When his eyes flicked open again, Duo sucked in a loud gasp as he beheld one of his most horrifying memories as it sprung back to life. Heero and Odin were gone, and all around him, Maxwell Church was choked in flame. Leaping to his feet, Duo ran into the aisle, looking frantically around for any signs of life, still carrying the absurd notion that he might be able to change the outcome of the tragedy. Maybe if he was able to find his younger self....

Duo took off running, remembering exactly where he had been when the fire broke out. Running into the little side chapel towards the right of the church, Duo headed straight for the tall, serene statue of the Virgin, the flames licking the white shawl that was draped over her stone shoulders. Adjacent to the statue was a wooden door that led up to the bedrooms and common rooms that were tucked away in the church's second floor. However, little Duo was sitting beside the burning statue, spinning Heero's red top and crying both in fear and in sadness at not only being rejected yet again, but also returning to find his friend gone.

“Hey, you dope! Get up and move! Go find Sister Helen!” Duo shouted at his younger self, his voice hoarse and angry.

But little Duo didn't hear a word the older Duo said. Instead, he went through the same motions Duo remembered from that horrific day. In agonizing slow motion, the red top spun out of Duo's chubby fingers and spun over towards the other side of the statue, where there was a half-open door that led to the small courtyard behind the church. The top whirled outside, and small Duo, in the typical fashion of a child, went chasing after it, inadvertently leading him to safety. (“Wait, little top! You're all I've got left of Wing!”) Adult Duo cursed and tried to put himself between his younger counterpart and the garden door, to turn him around in the direction of the other door that led to the residences, the one that, had it been open, would have given the church dwellers at least a chance for escape. But no; young Duo ran right through adult Duo, ripping through him like he was passing through a ghost, and leaving him to watch in horror as the church burned to cinders around him, turning the dream bright crimson and gold.

The red soon subsided into a tired, sullen shade of gray. Duo looked around, not surprised to find himself standing in the ruins of the garden sanctuary that had saved his young life. Snowflakes began to drift down from the sky around him as he approaching the sobbing form of his young self, who was sitting by a charred angel statue that had once been part of the courtyard's fountain. Still toying with that ever-spinning top, little Duo sang quietly to himself, just loud enough for his matured observer to hear.

“Yawns and slumbers fill your eyes!
Smiles await you when you rise!
Sleep pretty darling;
Do not cry.
And I will sing a lullaby....”

Duo felt himself start to tear up as well, the torrents of emotions that were attached to this childhood tragedy starting to gnaw at his hardened heart yet again. Silently, he fell to his knees beside his younger self and put his arms around the small body, even though the specter-like quality the dream had provided him with made his limbs sink through his youthful counterpart. He felt the weight in his heart settle a little as he listened to the somehow soothing tones of his whiny, pre-pubescent voice.

But as the next verse began, Duo heard another voice mingling with the child's; it was familiar and deep, somewhat nasal, but extremely comforting with its even, clean tones. His eyes grew heavy with contentment as his head sunk against his chest, losing himself to the warm voice.

“Once there was a way to get back homeward.
Once there was a way to get back home!”

When Duo's eyes fluttered open again, he found himself gazing at the serene seascape he'd been gazing at when he'd fallen asleep. His head had slipped from Heero's shoulder to his lap, cheek pressed against the damp, skintight material of Heero's wetsuit, his lover's fingers still massaging his scalp and toying with his long hair as he sang that old, familiar tune he always used to when they were children.

“Sleep pretty darling;
Do not cry.
And I will sing a lullaby....”

Turning his head up, Duo found himself staring into Heero's deep blue eyes, their shade such an intense ultramarine that they made the sea pale in comparison. They even seemed to swish and turn more than the crashing waves and were more fathomless and mysterious than even the deepest cove in the whole ocean. “Hi, Shinigami,” he said softly, an almost indistinguishable upturning of his mouth's corners brightening his entire countenance.

Duo suddenly found it very hard to breathe as he stared into those eyes like he had never seen them before. Frankly, it wasn't so much that he was seeing Heero's face as that of a stranger, but rather looking at him as he hadn't since they were both boys. He whispered almost inaudibly, “It's... you.”

Heero cocked his head slightly, and for some reason, Duo had trouble telling whether or not Heero knew what he was talking about. There was a certain glint in his eye that seemed to shine with more knowledge than Heero was letting on. “I know,” he said with a slight shrug. “Who else would I be?”

A heavy groan escaped Duo's throat as he pulled himself back up into an upright position, leaning his elbows on his knees again. From their high vantage point on the lifeguard's post, Duo could make out a school of dolphins cutting through the rolling waves. “I don't know. A stranger, maybe?” Duo said, his eyes tracing the arcs of the dolphin's dorsal fins as they leapt through the air. Pain suddenly clouded Duo's eyes as he turned his head back towards Heero; “Why didn't you tell me, Heero?”

To the casual observer, it might have seemed like Heero bore Duo no reaction at all. But if one was familiar with Heero's particular movements, then the slight tensing of his shoulders, the arching of his back and the almost minute crinkling around his eyes, would have been as grandiose as even some of Duo's more flamboyant mannerisms. “There was nothing to tell,” he said diplomatically.

The bones in Duo's hands ribbed the backs of them as he clenched his fists tightly. The wind whistled through Duo's braid and whipped the flag fixed to the back of the structure, it's rustling fwoop-fwoop amplified in the stillness around them. “Bullshit, Heero,” Duo snapped a bit harsher than he had meant to. “That's absolute bullshit... and you know it, too!” A frown creased Duo's lips as he went on, toning his voice down a little. “You could have told me that you were a mutant... and not just any mutant, but the very one I'd been joined at the hip with when I was a brat!”

Heero seemed taken aback. Just when it seemed like he was about to say something, he swallowed it, paused for a moment, and then said something else, which was clearly not quite what he'd been meaning to before. “I was afraid it wouldn't be the same if you knew. I was afraid to mention anything.”

“Oh come on! Do you really expect me to believe that?” Duo rolled his eyes. “It's not like I didn't remember you--though I didn't know it was you at the time. I've even told you stories about things we used to do, and you didn't say anything! Not one word!”

Heero was silent and allowed Duo to rant on, actually feeling like he deserved every harsh word Duo had for him. Still, had he the chance to do it all over again, he wasn't sure that it would have been much different; he had always been afraid to tell people things, even those who were close to him. It was something that became ingrained into his brain during the time he spent with J, a man to whom you wouldn't tell your birthday, if you could help it. He felt wretched that he'd hurt Duo without meaning to and he hoped that this was only a bump in their relationship.

“Ya know,” Duo went on, his knuckles a glaring white, “I was just starting to think we'd reached this whole level of understanding. Thought that I was beginning to touch upon all these private kinships and deep affinities drowning in those moody eyes of yours and locked behind that pretty mouth of yours. Seems I was duped.” He spat the last bit out with a grain of bitterness, his tone a scary throwback to the one he used to use on Heero all the time.

At last, Heero felt the need to speak. “Duo, you never have to run from me. Stop putting up walls.”

“Oh. O~oh?” Duo let out a rather mocking laugh. Putting a shaky hand on his chest, he said, “I'm running, am I? I'm not the one who decided that secrets were part of an understanding relationship, Heero.” He emphasized the last bit of Heero's name with a sort of snapping bark that stung when it fell upon the ears. “I may be a jerk, but at least I'm an honest one!”

Heero's lips were pulled into a strange shape, one half of his mouth open wider than the other, revealing a strip of clenched teeth. “I never lied to you. Ever,” he said haltingly. “And I never will!”

Duo brooded without a word, his eyes slanted away from Heero as they continued to track the school of dolphins as they swam further down the coast. Chin cupped in one hand, Duo appeared much like he had when Heero had first climbed up to join him, albeit a bit stormier. On the positive side, the fact that Duo seemed so shaken up about the whole ordeal meant that Heero had come to mean quite a bit to the longhaired mechanic over the course of the lacrosse season. It may have only been a glimmer of hope for Heero, but that one spark was all it took to rekindle a flame.

After five awkward minutes of sitting in moody silence, Heero figured that he was unwanted. He edged towards the end of the platform and carefully eased himself over the edge, preparing to climb back down. Just as his head was about to disappear beneath the platform, one hand still curled around the edge of the white, wooden planks, Heero said, “I was afraid to tell you, so I thought I'd show you instead. I'm sorry it backfired; I never meant for it to happen like this.” With those ominous words, he ducked beneath the platform and climbed back down to the beach. Retrieving his surfboard, he tucked it underarm and started for the boardwalk while the gulls continued to caw.

(x) X (x)

a.n.: Sorry it’s taken me forever to post. Things have been really wacky and insane lately. Anyways, the chapter title is a Stones song, and Golden Slumbers creeps in again for another cameo. Hope you enjoyed!